What to Say

Here are words, thoughts, and sentiments taken directly from the hundreds of cards and letters we received when my daughter walked on. Real words from real people. Fine examples of what to say to someone whose world has turned upside down.

Listen to your heart for it has a beautiful song to sing.

It will never make sense to me.

No one could possibly know how you're feeling.

You don't know me but I want you to know I am thinking of you.

Our hearts go out to you.

You’ve probably heard enough of people telling you how strong you are and how great you are doing. I’m standing in your corner. This tragedy is unfair and it sucks.

I am richer for having known her. 

Your daughter is so valuable. I question why such sweet and innocent people are taken from us. 

Lena brought sunshine into our world. 

When you want to talk, day or night, I will listen and I will hear you.

I wish I had words to erase your pain. Life can be so unfair and hard to accept.

Let her love light your way. 

I miss her.

I realize we don’t know each other, but I wanted to extend my deepest, heartfelt sympathies to you. 

It breaks my heart to think what you are going through.

I wish I had some profound wisdom to pass on from my own loss experiences, but I do not. It is just hard.

Here is a story about what your daughter meant to me.
I remember the time she . . .
I am not sure what to say except that I feel SAD and MAD.
I can’t stand it that you had to go through such a terrible event in your life.

You won't be getting a sympathy card from me. I looked and believe me, I could not find one to express the emptiness I feel in my heart.

Life is so fragile. 

The impact of Lena has touched many,
and at her funeral, she touched me.

I have no words. I am sorry.

Her compassion for others and her kind nature and thoughtfulness are legendary.

Things were always more fun when she was around.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful daughter with the world.

I am sure the road ahead appears gray, foggy, and unapproachable. May you see the way through with the help of your faith, family, and friends.

Tenderly, gently, softly we are thinking of you.

Each person must experience their own amount of time for healing.
Do what is best for you.

We loved her dearly and always will.

She entered our lives and touched us.

I can’t describe how blessed I am to have known her.

A tree has been planted in the national forest in memory of your daughter.

Whether you need to cry or scream, I’ll be there with you.

She was a truly unique spirit.

I only remember talking to your daughter once, for a minute. And yet the way I remember her is that she was very friendly. And she was happy. 

We hope you find comfort in the belief of love’s everlasting connection.

We are holding you in our hearts with respect and compassion.

I love you. 


Feel free to use these words if you are searching for what to say. Use the comments below to share words you've found to be helpful.

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Monica Sword

Monica Sword is an aspiring author and artist living a deeply heartfelt life. Following the early death of three family members, including her daughter, she struggled to balance home and work life. Once she discovered how to apply her conscientious and high-achieving personality to honor her passions, be mindful of her emotional reactions and focus on self-care, she developed a creative mindset that produces her most meaningful life work. On her website, lifeisaprettyword.com, Monica inspires and encourages others to honor their heart and soul in mindful ways.