Flotsam and Jetsam

Look closer.
The bits and pieces of our lives come and go with our emotional tides. How much belongs to us? For what am I responsible? How might I dispose of it properly and permanently? Or better yet, how may it be upcycled to fuel the things that save me, that are of service to others?

Look deeper.
What is beneath the surface? Bright, dark and fertile crystals waiting for the life-giving light coming on the next tide releasing them to shine again.

Look now. 

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Revealing the core

Recently I came across a quote of John Green's that said, "Grief doesn't change you. It reveals you." Relating this to my life, I'd have to say this statement is accurate. Although I am forever changed through the loss of important family members, out of order death, and the shock of unexpected loss, ultimately, I continue to be who I am at the core. 

The initial shock of losing my daughter caused me to shut down for several years. I slept a lot to protect the hole in my chest. The grief revealed my demons, fear, disappointments and regrets hovering below the surface of my average life. 

Ultimately through my perseverance, resilience, and hard-working nature, helped me survive and create a life that is very much still worth living. Gone are the days of controlling virtually everything to the nth degree. What a waste of time. I've learned that opening myself, sharing my story, dropping the judgment of all that is wrong with myself and my life, reveals answers to the right questions. 

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